Finding Irene

The end of my month off from blogging included: one earthquake, one hurricane, two deaths, one planting of beautiful and the loss of power to my cave. The latter issue is still going on and may not be resolved for several more days. To say the time off has been needed is an understatement. It was not so much that rest was required as a chance to step out of the middle of things and look at what was going on around me.

Sometimes you can get so involved in the doing that you cannot take your eyes of the road long enough to see what lies ahead. It is in the taking a moment (or month) to reflect on things that allows you to see if you are still on the right path. One of the problems with using a phrase like that – the right path – is that it implies that damn orthogonal thinking again, the idea of their being a right path and a wrong path.

We view our paths as coming in these black and white options and being littered with small bridges that connect the two. The general belief is that you start on one path and then whoopsie, veer off on a small fork and cross a bridge to the other path. When we finally notice we are not going where we want to we go through an entire dramatic process of “getting ourselves back on track.”

There is only one path ever and it can become the right one or the wrong one at any time and then revert back to its former status. What determines the…nature of the path on you is whether you are obsessed with watching the ground or do you have your head up to see not just where you are going, but what you are passing as well. How you are seeing what is around you and what lies ahead, what you choose to see of it, is just as important as the steadiness with which you walk on the path. Walking this path is like walking any other path in the world, one rarely goes non-stop but pauses, wanders around a bit exploring, then walks back to the path and continues on.

Loveandwords.com is still a work in progress but there is now a lot of new material up. And when I say,”A lot.” I mean it. I will be continuing to add and open up new areas of the site as I go, so keep checking back. Not only is almost the entire text of my collection “the Decagon” now available, but there are workshops, other writings, ebooks and more. Best of all, you can now read it (including the blog) from any phone that can access the mobile internet.

The mad kitten had a bit of a rough time because I was away for a week or two but now she is happy. I am home and she corners me with that loud, rattling purr which tells me there is something she wants me to do and I am paying my dues without complaint for having traveled around so much.

The two passings were just what they were. The end of two full lives. One, I did not know well but came to know the impact he had on other’s lives and the other, I came to know deeply. Truly I can say that there is no greater teacher about the importance of purpose and choice in life then to see the power of will a dying person can exert to follow through on bringing the their life to a good and generous close.

I have also witnessed love. Love of the kind that nobody likes to really promote because it is complicated, full of dualities, passionate, fierce, wonderful and painful. And witnessing that has opened doors in my own heart in ways that almost feel like a relief.

And I have been given the opportunity to plant beautiful in my life. It is awe inspiring and I am glad this chance has come now and not earlier. Earlier I was not the kind of person who could have willingly shouldered the responsibilities of what it takes to make beautiful grow and bloom.

I have watched the news and decided that pointing out everything that is wrong is just feeding the machine. So for my 5th year of blogging I am going to try to walk a steadier line towards promoting resolution and growth in response to whatever is going on. I think the reign of both fear-mongering and cheap promises should come to an end, don’t you?

Most of all I realize, as I sit writing this in candlelight with the laptop battery steadily dying, is that the Internet has a wonderful capacity to foster change, education and growth. But we need to begin to look at what we are asking of it and what we are looking for when we are on. Tons of information and slick, speedy programs are fantastic – but if one doesn’t have an idea or plan for what they are trying to do all of that information and speed is useless. We wind up recreating only what we have known and not seeing the sea because we have fallen in love with the tidal pool.

And that the one question I will explore relentlessly this year is how do we go from a society that acts based on fear to one that choses to act despite fear?

Alright…the battery is dying and I have to walk down to the library to charge up for the night and post this.

It is good to be back.

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

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About cassandratribe

"There are few artists that can do what Cassandra Tribe does. Whether with her poetry, her videos or her blog, Cassandra examines the truths that most of us can never come close to realizing and shows it for what it is, both beautiful and frightening at the same time. She exposes our inner-most workings like the cross-section of a powerful but flawed machine, our gears and springs, nuts and bolts removed and laid out before us. She is a true artist. Her new video, Requiem for a God, is the latest example of Cassandra's willingness to tear open and examine the very things that make us human. Shooting the film entirely by herself, she also eliminates all the little excuses we come up with to keep us from ourselves and our truth. You see, even when she's not trying to be, Cassandra Tribe is a beacon of truth and humanity in this darkest of worlds." (Michael E. Quigg, The Culture Network, June 2009)
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