A very wise man said to me the other day, “If it hadn’t been for circumstance, I would never have changed. I was quite content being who I was. Looking back, I cannot believe that I thought being that person was a good thing. No one would have looked at me and told me it was bad or that I was bad, but looking back from where I am now I can see that it was not bad, but so much less, I was accepting so little –settling-instead of living.”
Circumstance is a very funny friend to be around. Especially because they never bother to call first. You never get the opportunity to look at the caller ID and go, “Oh ugh, not right now, I’ll just let that go to voicemail.”
Circumstance always shows up and bursts through the door, interrupting your little quiet moments with their loud voice, flashy clothes and some hare-brained idea for an adventure.
That wouldn’t be too bad, however, Circumstance always seems to arrive when you are having a cuppa with your other friend, Predictability. Predictability is quieter, dresses well, but – to be honest – is a little needy and more than a little insecure.
An awkward triangle forms. The dynamics that color the relationship between the three of you are Jealousy, Insecurity and Neediness (not to mention quite a few Control issues). It is no wonder that when Circumstance and Predictability are sitting across from each other in your kitchen, we all magically develop bladder issues and wind up hiding in the bathroom waiting for one of them to get bored and leave.
You could say that Circumstance is somehow related to Fate or Destiny, but honestly, its usually just random and obnoxious. If you think about it, you can tell the difference because Fate and Destiny always have a certain amount of …patience and positive feedback to give as they nudge you to make a choice. Circumstance just points at your donut and says, “Are you going to eat that?” and then sneezes all over the donut.
Yet, more often than not, as we are sucked into Circumstance’s latest hare-brained scheme, we often come out the other side having had the kind of experience that is more profoundly life changing than any day trip we took with Fate.
It depends on our willingness to…hold our boundaries with Predictability. You can’t be everything for someone. You can try, but you will become drained, exhausted, and incapable of taking care of your own life. Sometimes, we have to be willing to let Predictability pout and not answer their call (even though we are home and have nothing to do).
When things happen in your life that are unexpected, whether they be painful or wonderful; whether you can understand the whys of it happening or not – the best thing to do is to join in. By that I mean, see it as a form of adventure. Take a camera along. Realize that you have no idea where you are going and what is going to happen and travel with
your eyes wide open
remember that every holiday you have ever taken
has changed you
and watch for opportunities that
you wouldn’t have had before.
Because you know that when it is over, you so to will get a chance to sit in the kitchen with Predictability over tea and show the pictures from the trip. Contentment might even drop by for a bit (but their schedule is so busy they can never stay for long).
It will be ok.
No matter what is going on in your life,
it will all be ok,
c.2011 Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved