Yesterday was one of those days in which nothing was overwhelmingly wrong, but I was just at that wall of tired and so nothing felt good either. I wound up crawling into bed at 8:30, mad kitten in tow, and we both passed out until now.
Strange to think how little you know about how you work even if you are quite aware of some things. For me, I know being tired is not a good thing but I am only just now starting to see how and when it all starts. Kind of like drinking water, by the time you realize you are thirsty it is way too late. So I am trying to pay much more attention to that all.
And it is decision time as well…what with it being towards the end of July and all. I am projecting out to winter coming and trying to be a little bit more prepared this year. So I plot and plan, I do believe I will stay in the studio year round this time but, will spend a bit more time preparing it all so I do not wind up freezing. Last year I sort of made a gesture towards preparing, this year I am starting a good four months before and beginning to make the changes I will need. Which is good, I have been overwhelmingly stressed about it all, stressed to the point of not knowing what to do but the actuality is I simply had to commit to a choice. Occasionally I have the habit of just falling willy nilly into things. Not this time. Money matters included, winter was a financial disaster for me when it could have been ok last year.
Think things through. Plan. Be prepared to change plans.
That seems to be what it boils down to.
I have been reading like a maniac (I will pick up Chesterton again soon, I promise, but I am just not up to it yet) courtesy of the mobipocket reader on the crackberry. Oddly enough I have been reading Mark Twain.
There are two stories that really struck me. One is the ‘$30,000 Bequest’ and the other is the (I have no idea what it is called) the diary of Adam and Eve. In the latter he writes journal entries from the beginning of time from the viewpoint of Adam and Eve and when they met. It is insanely politically incorrect and really really funny. But also, it evolves and ends in such a beautiful way, with Adam writing on Eve’s gravestone “Wheresoever She Goes Lies the Garden of Eden.”
The $30,000 Bequest is a different story all together. It is about a poor but hard working couple who strive together to make the best life that they can for themselves. In the middle of this, the uncle (who there is no love lost between uncle and nephew) writes to say he is dying and he is leaving them a $30,000 Bequest in his will on one condition. The condition is that they make no effort whatsoever to find out whether the uncle is sick or dead. If the lawyers trace any kind of effort then the money goes away. If, five years after the uncle is dead, there is no hint that they tried to find anything out, the money will be theirs.
So the couple slowly starts to spin a fantasy life about what they will do with all that money and how it will change their lives. They stop participating in their own lives and prefer games of fantasy in which the wife proves to be a master investor, winning at the stock market and increasing their fortunes while the husband excels as a manager of all their various businesses. Then tragedy strikes! The stock market crashes and although they are realistically fine, it effects their fantasy investments and they begin to argue and fight and so it goes for years – their relationship and life crumbling around the rise and fall of their fantasy fortune. One day, the editor of the paper where the uncle lives visits to apologize for not having printed the obituary for the uncle several years earlier. He just found it, lost beneath a pile of paperwork. Turns out there was never any money to be had, the uncle died destitute but was mean enough to play this prank in order to destroy the couples marriage.
Only who really destroyed it?
In the collection I am reading there is also a series of stories called “Heaven or Hell?” He presents a sort of moral dilemma for a character and at the end the character has made their choice and Twain asks the question, “Does the character then go to Heaven or Hell?”
I really had not realized how much I had gotten out of the habit of reading, except for a sporadic book here or there, and I am amazed at how the reintroduction of daily reading is…expanding my horizons. Even if I only get to read for ten minutes while waiting in an office, I am reading. I am reading and when I am done, I am excited to go rummaging through the “library” of all the free ebooks and find something new. I think I have about 12 books going right now.
The short story collections are the best, its like training wheels for reading. To try and get back that attention span and it fits the sort of in/out reading time. I really highly recm’d it to anyone. You would be surprised how fast you get used to reading on a small screen and all of them allow you to zoom in to the text so it is comfortable. Not to mention backlit so it is easy to read in bed.
I am rambling.
I have to keep doing what I am doing today and paint a kitchen for my landlord. Plus, as always, I have secret things in the works that are why I am so stressed but it is looking like soon I will be in the clear to talk about them. But not just yet.
You can now buy, listen and download the entire audio for the workshop for 99cents. That was the cheapest I could make it. It is one and a half hours long, one file. You can use paypal to purchase it, but can only do so from a real computer. I am getting the approval from paypal to begin using their mobile API in order to make it a click and buy for cell phones.
And then, and then, I get to turn my attention back to the next workshop, sunday radio and the new video.
Purchase the full audio for
Creating with the Sublime
1-1/2 hours long, 50 MB
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