did you ever just become…deeply funkified? And you look back and realize that the funkification has been going on for a long while and it is just shocking because you cannot really believe that you existed for so long not believing it at all?
Then a bucket of funk slams you in the head and the funk slops over the side and your clothes get wet and suddenly there is a chill air and the sun goes behind the clouds and you are just miserable.
And the funny thing is…you are sitting there, shivering, in your wet, funky clothes and looking at a pile of fresh, clean, dry ones and you know if you put them on you will feel better. Hell, if you just started taking of the cold wet nasty funked up ones you’d start feeling better but its like, the farthest thing from your mind to do.
You either (the moment the funk starts to dry) pour more funk on you to “keep the funk up” so it matches your new found realization of your funkiness
you pop out of your chair declaring yourself unfunked and swallow a bunch of flies who are still hanging around you knowing better.
either way, you wind up sitting next to the pile of clean clothes still funky.
and who knows why you suddenly decide that you can manage clean socks?
and things slowly start to defunk, not as fast as you want and most likely not with the kind of sweeping return to ignorant bliss that you had before, but at least…you aren’t cold anymore and the flies start to become more interested in the litterbox.
It is said that nothing that is worthwhile is easy and to a great degree that is true. Because things that tend to be of worth, tend to demand that you address things in yourself that maybe you have been able to get away with ignoring before. The tendency is to put the source of the challenge on the outside part and not to hold the recognition that it comes all from you.
Day 4 and I finally sat and put the violin strings back on. This time I am only step tuning the strings instead of trying to tune them to their correct notes, so like, they have a chance to stretch and break in and can hold the note.
Day 6 of being a hot mess about some things going on inside me, I have managed to get some kind of toe hold onto the ladder out by simply…choosing not to try and make things different, but by choosing to do something altogether different.
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